Lessons from Hair

So - last night in the shower as I was rinsing my hair, it began coming out by handfuls.  When I got out and began to comb it, it did the same.  To give you some idea, it was like removing 10 times the number of hairs you usually get when you either wash your hair or comb it.  Even running my hand through it to help it dry made my hand come away with lots of hairs.  It was obvious that it was time for my buzz cut.

The original idea was for me to go see Katy when I needed my buzz cut.  But since I knew this needed to be done last night, there wasn't time for me to go see Katy.  I came into the living room and told Steve I needed him to do it.  He was pretty nervous, but after we talked it through, he agreed.  Here's the result: 

 

My first thought upon seeing my haircut for the first time was, "Who IS that old woman???"  It's amazing how much your hair covers up!  My second thought was, "I let my husband near my head with buzzing sharp blades - and came away unscathed!!"  He did a good job.  

You won't be seeing this 'do much - I am finding out why guys like this cut in the summer - it is very, very cool!  That would be great for hot summertime, but the temperatures are not anywhere near that here yet.  So I am wearing something on my head at all times right now to keep from getting cold.

All this focus on hair got me to thinking.  I tried doing a Google search for how many times "hair" is mentioned in the Bible, but never could get a number.  I do know that in my own recollection, it comes up a significant number of times.  For Samson and Absalom, hair was their downfall; an unnamed woman in the New Testament used hers along with her tears to clean Jesus' feet.  It's mentioned numerous times in the books of law in the Old Testament, and Paul talked a lot about women's hair specifically in several of his letters.   Proverbs 16:31 says that "Gray hair is a crown of glory."  Nazarites didn't cut their hair in order to show that they were set apart for God.  

But maybe the best known verse on hair is Matthew 10:30.  It says, "But the very hairs of your head are numbered."  The next verse says, "So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows." The context is Jesus teaching the disciples about discipleship, giving them instructions on how to go out and proclaim His message.  From verse 24 through verse 31, Jesus uses the word "fear" three different times, which seems to indicate that He knew what He was asking them to do was not easy for them.  He was trying to reassure His disciples that although He knew the task ahead would be hard, there was nothing for them to fear.  And while He could have used any metaphor He liked, He chose to use hair.

Jesus would have been familiar with all those Old Testament references mentioned earlier.   By using hair as one of His examples here, Jesus was doing what He does so well - using something people were very familiar with and something they had contact with every day - their own hair.  

I've always read this verse to mean that God knew even the most mundane details about me - that He cared enough about me to know and number the "very hairs of [my] head."  And while I don't disagree with that idea, having cancer has made me look at this verse in another light.  I believe that He is reminding me, as He did the disciples, that although I am facing something hard, there is nothing to fear.  I believe He is also reminding me that even as I lose my hair, He still knows how many hairs have fallen out and how many will come back in.  He knows that even though it's somewhat mundane, hair still matters.  And He says loud and clear, "I know.  I know how you feel about your hair.  I know how you like the fact that it keeps you warm.  I know you like having it long and being able to do different things with it.  I know it feels strange to you to be without it.  I know that having it fall out is a definitive, non-ignore-able reminder that you have cancer.  And I know that sometimes scares you.  I know - because I know YOU, My child."

And as I listen, I realize that part of what He is trying to communicate through Jesus' words in Matthew is the fact that whatever it is that gives us comfort, He can give better.  Whatever it is that brings us a feeling of normalcy, He can bring more.  Whatever it is that makes us feel "part of the crowd" rather than "sticking out like a sore thumb," He understands, and He never allows us to stand alone.  And ultimately, whatever tough thing we are facing, whether it's going out to face a crowd that doesn't want to listen to our message or fighting cancer, we have nothing to fear.  He is there, and He is able to give us all we need as we face the things that try to scare us.  

So instead of seeing my lack of hair as a reminder of cancer, I am choosing to see my lack of hair as a reminder of God's constant care, of His Word that tells me I have nothing to fear.

And that one bad thing, one good thing?  One bad thing - little to no hair means you are going to be much cooler.  One good thing - you get to wear really awesome hats anytime you want :)

One more thing - I am extremely thankful for the timing on this.  It didn't happen when I was dealing with all the stomach bug stuff.  It didn't happen when I was feeling so weak.  It didn't happen while we were in Tulsa.  It happened at a time and in a place where I could get it taken care of quickly and build a memory for Steve and I.  God continues to bless us with grace throughout this process.

Who knew something as mundane as hair could hold so many lessons?

Thankful to serve an extremely creative God,

Sherri